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Tuesday, October 4th, 2005

Subject:this is just funny
Time:5:34 pm.
"Ladies quit screwing with your appearance...stop w/ the Cunt Wax just bang a black guy they r happy rummaging around a jungle. You women have to like yourself this way. Did you hear last week another woman was attacked and raped in central park while jogging.....you see exercise is no good. You never hear of a fat bitch getting attacked while watching One Life to Live and eating Doritos"
Lisa Lampanelli

funny quotes yo
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, October 3rd, 2005

Subject:Stop with the cunt wax
Time:3:35 pm.
Is it wrong that i said that my stool is more research based than a theory. I didn't think so.

Today is great. No it isn't but if i delude myself enough maybe it will be great. I'm an utter optimist except when i'm a pessismist which unfortunately is almost everyday.

Oh yea..faith u fucking professional i'm soo goin 2 b in niceville in less than 4 days hot damn but i do believe i'm going to stay away from the alchohol.

and to quote lisa lampanelli "stop with the cunt wax"
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, September 16th, 2005

Time:3:35 pm.
Sophia Petrillo
Which Golden Girl Are You?

thanks faith
you rock
ur the shit
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, August 15th, 2005

Time:9:11 am.
Its time for an update hurray. So what am i up 2 thats a good question. I think i'm going to go up to the highschool b/c i love seeing my mother. She's just so great. Anyway now taht i completely lied i'm going to continue packing and have a smoke break. Lets face it, the little things in life are what make me happy.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005

Time:10:19 pm.
This is possibly the only positive thing I got out of physio. It is a story from my book:
[A psychiatrist] asked me if I was suicidal, and I reluctantly told him yes. I did not particularize--since there seemed no need to--did not tell him that in truth many of the artifacts of my house had become potential devices for my own destruction: the attic rafters (and an outside maple or two) a means to hang myself, the garage a place to inhale carbon monoxide, the bathtub a vessel to receive the flow from my opened arteries. The kitchen knives in their drawers had but one purpose for me. Death by heart attack seemed particularly inviting, absolving me as it would of active responsibility, and I had toyed with the idea of self-induced pneumonia--a long frigid, shirt-sleeved hike through the rainy woods. Nor had I overlooked an ostensible accident...by walking in front of a truck on the highway nearby...Such hideous fantasies, which cause well people to shudder, are to the deeply depressed mind what lascivious daydreams are to person of robust sexuality.
That is just a hilarious view on depression. I mean come on that is hilarious. Frank Sinatra would approve whole-heartedly except he's dead and all. Whatever.

Ok this is funny to
In one extraordinary case a patient performed his own psychosurgery. Solyom reported the case of a young man with a serious obsessive-compulsive disorder whose ritual hand washing and other behaviors made it impossible for him to continue his schooling or lead a normal life. Finding that his life was no longer worthwhile, he decided to end it. He placed the muzzle of a .22-caliber rifle in his mouth and pulled the trigger. The bullet entered the base of the brain and damaged the frontal lobes. He survived, and he was amazed to find that his compulsions were gone. Fortunately, the damage did not disrupt his ability to make or execute plans; he went back to school and completed his education and now has a job. His IQ was unchanged. Ordinary surgery would have been less hazardous and messy, but it could hardly have been more successful.
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Time:9:03 pm.
First of all i would like to say Frank Sinatra is the only God I will worship. No seriously he is the best God. He is the only God. Live with it you religious people.
So took Physio Psych final and didn't get completely raped. Don't get me wrong there was some definite anal penetration but there was lubrication involved so that saved me.
Oh yea Zoe is also my God. She is great. I'll worship at her temple any time.
'its goin 2 take a lot 2 drag me away from you...there's nothing a hundred men or more could do...ive blessed the rains down in africa".
Fuck you bitches
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, May 1st, 2005

Subject:Funny thing i just thought about
Time:10:09 pm.
Ok so this following story happened during business stat and i thought it was hilarious:

Dr. Vamosi: I have never heard of a business that lost money by putting more money into advertising.

Mandy: (under her breath) I guess he hasn't heard of Old Navy...

Me: Urinating noises.

That tickles me.
No song today bitches
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, April 29th, 2005

Subject:"Studying Stones"
Time:11:40 pm.
This is for all my peeps or dawgs if you will.
I am out here studying stones
Trying to learn to be less alive
Usin all my will to keep very still
Even still on the inside
I've cut all of the pertinent wires
So my eyes can't make their connection
I am holding my breath
I am feigning my death
When I am looking in your direction
Of course numb is an old hat
Old as my oldest memories
See that ones my mother and that ones my father
and that one in the hat is me
Its a skill i hoped to abandone
When I got out on the open road
But any more pent up emotion and I think i'm goin 2 explode
I'm too lazy to continue which is sad since I woke up at 12-1 today. Don't judge me. Anyway started packing more clothes today but I'm really considering burning some of my shit because I've got WAY too Much.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, April 28th, 2005

Subject:The Power of Orange Knickers
Time:11:34 pm.
The Power of Orange Knickers
The Power of Orange Knickers
The Power of Orange Knickers
Under my petticoat
The power of listening to what,
You don't want me to know
Can somebody tell me now
Who is this terrorist?
Those girls that smile kindly
THen rip your life to pieces
Can somebody tell me now
Am I alone with this?
This little pill in my hand
And with this secret kiss...kiisss
Am I alone in this?
A matter of complication
When you become a twist
For their latest drink
As they're transitioning
Can somebody tell me now
Who is this terrorist
This little pill in my hand
That keeps the pain living
Can someone tell me now
A way out of this
That sacred pot of red stone
Can blow me out of this kiss....kiiisss
The Power of Orange Knickers
Under my petticoat
The power of listening to what you don't want me to know
Shame Shame
Time to leave me now
Shame Shame
You've had your fun
Shame Shame
For letting me think
That I'd be the one
Can somebody tell me now
Who is this terrorist
This little pill in my hand
Or this secret kiis...kiiiisss.
Am i alone in this kiissss.....kiiiis
Am i alone in this kiissss.....kiiisssss
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:11:23 pm.
She's a girl
Rising from a shell
Running to Spring
It is her time
It is her time
Watch her run
With Ribbons Undone
She's a rose
In a lillies cloke
She can hide her charms
It is her right
There will be time to chase the sun
With Ribbons Undone
She runs like a fire does
Just picking up daisies
Comes in for a landing
A pure flash of lighting
Past Alice's blue blossoms
Follow her laughter
And then she'll surpise you
Arms filled with lavender
My little pony is growing up faster
She smiles at me and says
"you mean a throbread"
A look in her eye says
The battles beginning
From school she comes home and cries
"i don't want to grow up..
at least not tonight"
Your a girl
Rising from a shell
Running through a spring
Summer's within reach now
It is your time
It is your time
So just run
With ribbons undone
It is your time
Miss, my angel
It is your time
So just run
With ribbons undone
Ribbons Undone

"Ribbons Undone" Tori Amos
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, April 27th, 2005

Subject:Another great song
Time:11:41 pm.
Ok this song is awesome to reiterate fuck u bitches that don't like it
So I ran faster
But it caught me here
Yes my loyalties turned
Like my ankle in the 7th grade
Running after Billy
Running after the rain

These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break their hold on me

They said you were an ugly girl
But i liked the way you play
and I died
but I thanked him
Can you believe it..sick sick
Holding on to his picture
Dressing up every day
I want to smash the faces
of those beautiful boys
Those Christian boys
So you can make me CUM
That doesn't make you Jesus

These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break their hold on me

I remember yes
In my peach party dress
No one dared
No one cared
To tell me where those pretty girls are
Lost Demigods
With their Nine Inch Nails
And little fascist panties tucked into the heart
of every nice girl

These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break let them wash away
These these precious things
Let them bleed now
Let them wash away
These these precious things
Let them break their hold on me
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:Real Men
Time:11:31 pm.
Mood: bitchy.
The best song ever...of course the Tori Amos version bitches

Take your mind back
I don't know when
Sometime when it seemed to be us and them
Girls that wore pink
Boys that wore blue
Boys that only screw up
Better men than me and you
Whats a man now?
Whats a man mean?
Is he rough? or rugged? cultural or clean?
Nows its all changed
Its gotta change more
We think its gettin better
But noones really sure
So it goes, goes round again
But now and then we wonder who the real men are

See the nice boys
Dancing in pairs
Golding earing golden tan
Blow waved in their hair
Sure their all straight
Straight as a line
All the guys are macho
See their leather shine
You don't want to sound dumb
Don't want to offend
So don't call me a faggot
Not unless your a friend
Then if your tall, handsome, and strong
You can wear the uniform and i can play along
And so it goes goes round again
But every now and then we wonder who the real men are

Time to get scared
Time to change plan
Don't know how to treat a lady
Don't know how to be a man
Time to admit what you call defeat
Because there are women running past you
And you just drag your feet
Man makes a gun, man goes to war,
Man can kill and man can drink and man can take a whore
Kill all the blacks, kill all the reds
If there's a war between the sexes
Then there will b no people left
And so it goes around again
And we wonder who the real men are
And so it goes around again
But now and then we wonder who the real men are

Awesome song. Great message...Well when Tori Amos sings it. Fuck you bitches that don't like it
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, April 25th, 2005

Subject:Awesome Icon
Time:10:32 pm.
Mood: excited.
My new Icon is awesome. Kim sent it to Ashley to send to me. Kim says "doesn't it just say come fuck me in the ass." I have to agree with Kim on this one. It does appear that Angela would like to be anally violated. Look at the anticipation in her eyes. She knows its going to be one massive schlong. And I do believe that she is going to like it. My only suggestion to her is to be sure to use lots of lube. This one's for you Angela Lansbury.
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Sunday, April 24th, 2005

Subject:Fuck this Shit
Time:3:16 pm.
Mood: pissed off.
I'm updating. Hot Damn. Woo Hoo. I'm proud of my fucking self. I'm tired of people and their shit. I'm tired of being abused. I'm tired of all the shit. Only 10 days and then I'll b back n niceville w/ the faith and the peeps that care. Hot damn. Its not that everyone here sucks its just a majority. I enjoy the destiny and the ashley and the zoe and the steph they rock hot shit. The Jess haha..... i just typed the Jews by mistake and corrected it..... is good too. But other than that I feel mainly like i'm back in kindeeeegardeeen. Shit fuck cock cunt. Hmm Journey is some good music. All i have to say is don't stop believing. I need to go to Ohio and marry kim. That'll make me happy. Blah. I'm tired of this shit. I think i've said that already but i figure i might as well reinforce it. I had to wait 40 mins for zoe yesterday but its for her so i don't mind. She's good people. And she was with the Victoria's Secret mafia so you really can't get mad at that. I'm ready to leave. Finish this bitch off. Its been too dramatic of a year. I need a drink.
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Wednesday, February 16th, 2005

Time:12:48 am.
stacy madison
You are Stacy Madison!!

Which Completely Random Person Are You!!
brought to you by Quizilla
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:Wet T-shirt contests
Time:12:19 am.
What can i say i like a good wet tshirt contest.............except when i'm the 1 thats all wet. Don't get me wrong, sometimes its good 2 b all wet but hmm i don't like it when patsie makes me wet its just ewwy. Needless 2 say I was not happy.

To quote Cyndi Lauper:
"I see your tru colors shining through"
And to quote Bikini Kill:
"I like fucking"
And of course to quote Jack off Jill:
"Super destroy super small boy never sad sad sad"
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, February 13th, 2005

Subject:Its been awhile
Time:6:18 pm.
Soo anyhoo i figure its been a little while since I wrote something so I might as well write some shit.

My views on Valentines Day: First of all I just have to say that Valnetines Day sucks. No one likes it even people that have someone to celebrate it with. Its true, live with it. So tomorrow I am going to tell every couple that I hope they give each other genital warts because honestly herpes is not enough of a pain. I hope they get genital warts on their penies and ginies as well as in their mouths in their asses hell in any oraface that they may have.
If I see anyone using the opportunity to express their love (ie flowers, candies) I feel as though I should have a right to express my disapproval through use of a gun. I'm not going to shoot anyone in the body..don't worry about that. Instead I think I should be allowed to shoot off a toe or two. I'm going to start a poll anyone that agrees let me know. If you don't agree then well i'm just going 2 shoot you n the toe b/c you are probably someone that just deserves it.

Okay anyway now that I've expressed my views on love...bullshit..cough cough vomit (Roman Shower anyone??) I think I should talk a little about car washes

Turns out washing your car w/ one of those brushes that has been used on like oil is not a good thing. Who wouldda guessed that that could like damage your car. I never believed that. But overall it got me 2 go back to use the awesome machine that shoots out like 3 colors of soaps and then the wax and of course the spot free rinse. I love that shit.

Okay so thats aboot it. Oh wait I got a haircut and almost got raped by the bitch who was freakin crazy and knew WAY too much aboot the niceville area. She was honestly the villain from the Little Mermaid...hey she works at Disney it would be very possible....you haven't seen her body/hair color
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Friday, January 21st, 2005

Subject:The Olde Headboard
Time:10:37 am.
I'm very happy for people when they find boyfriends. I'm not going to lie I secretly wait for them to break up because I run on misery and despair, but i digress, back to the whole finding someone that you like thing.
I think its great when someone finds someone else. But when someone finds Screech from "Saved by the Bell" I have to speak up. Honestly comeon he makes Screech look like Slater (and Slater is the buff latino).
I would like to apologize because I realize that this entry is not up to par compared to my last one....but I used so much energy in the last one I just did not know what to do.

So does anyone know any good pussy jokes?

So now off to another subject in my head. Its a dark place but its better than your bed.

Oh god no they don't know the new zero.
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Tuesday, January 18th, 2005

Subject:Cunt Art
Time:3:33 pm.
In all my life I have never heard of anything greater than Cunt art. God Bless Zoe. God Bless Sarah Jessica Parker. God Bless Candace Bushnell.
Many women feel as though Cunt Art is a disgusting concept. Of course many people feel as though Patsie is a disgusting concept as well. To be fair he isn't that ugly. Have you people seen the movie Mask with Cher....he looks a lot better than the kid with the distorted face....you know the one whose mom did the hash when she was pregnant (and from my knowledge also drank heavily). He looks a lot better than that kid. But not Cher. Cher is an ugly 75 year old woman but she still is hotter than Patsie. I don't want to be mean or anything, but when you have to look for a deformed kid named Rocky in order to find someone that looks worse than him....thats pretty bad.
I'm not going to lie, Patsie probably has some good things about him (although he has a face that a mother could only love......and thats if Jerry Blank was his mother...remember that episode kids that guy was fuggggly). What else can I say about Patsie....he has a personality...not a good one...but its there (although in his case i think none might be better than what he's got).
Next we go on to sexual attractiveness. You may all be thinking that this is directly related to looks (it isn't). In my book sexual attractiveness lies in the pants. In this authors opinion, Patsie has no sexual attractiveness. I'm sorry but if Elizabeth only feels as though she might have felt it once with all the shit they are doin then he's got a problem. What he needs its to do what 70 year old men do. Go out, buy some viagra and some KY warming lubricant and have a blast (of course he's probably going to need some preparation H as well because i'm thinkin the only sex he's going to have will be gay sex....keep your roids under control). In my opinion the previous technique could only make him a little more sexually attractive. But, if he wants any real improvement I, as an expert, would have to recommend a Cock Pump. These are very helpful for those people that are lacking in the area below the belt. But they can only make moderate improvements.
So what have we learned today...
Patsie----uglier than Cher but better than her deformed son Rocky in "Mask"------he has a personality, but its bad-----sexual attractiveness will only come from Cock Pump.
I bid you adieuu
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, January 16th, 2005

Time:4:53 pm.
Okay so who would win n a fight between me and patsie. I think that the answer to this question is quite simple. Come on its easier than a new york street whore. Okay sure we are both scrony white boys but I have a gift at street fighting yo. Not many people can mess wit dis muda fuka. I'm from the preverbial streets. Shit and I've been hit enough where it doesn't hurt anymore....Can we say S&M. Shit as long as he doesn't go for the nip i'm good. Shit i would have that muda on the ground in the count of 3.
Okay now on to funny shit.....Zack Morris for President
Stephanie is goin to love that....but i must apologize to Zoe.

In other news i just took a forensic psych quiz and got a 100. I am proud aren't you

Anything else...Not really just pictures of awkward kisses in my mind. Jerri Blank would be ashamed of the images that I have had in my head. Ewwww and she was a street whore.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

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